Ayah Victoria McKhail
Mondoweiss / August 24, 2024
In 2021, Israel killed 22 members of Palestinian artist Zainab Alqolaq’s family in an attack on their home in Gaza. Today, Alqolaq is struggling to survive the current genocide, yet she’s determined to see justice prevail.
Beneath the incessant buzzing of drones in the sky and amid the grisly carnage and destruction that have decimated the Israeli-occupied Gaza Strip and its starved and traumatized people, voices of courage and steadfastness emanate from every corner of the besieged coastal enclave. They reverberate in the ruins of homes that once stood; in bombed schools that were once filled with the laughter of children; in scorched churches and mosques that once symbolized sanctuary; in destroyed hospitals that were once operational; and by those speaking from undisclosed locations.
One of these voices belongs to Zainab Alqolaq. Born and raised in the Gaza Strip, prior to October 7, she was living in her home, west of Gaza City, before her entire neighborhood was targeted. “The Israeli occupation bombed and destroyed our homes. I evacuated five times: twice in the north and three times in the south. One of these places was a hospital.”
Alqolaq has been struggling with the harsh circumstances she’s been enduring ever since. She’s encountered barriers in accessing basic necessities, such as food, clean drinking water and medicine, noting that on some days, it was simply impossible.
“Every Palestinian has a tragic, miserable, sad, and heartbreaking story caused by the Israeli occupation.” She’s lost loved ones, too, but the pain is intense, and she’s overcome with grief. “I can tell you about my family and friends who I lost during this genocide, but I can’t right now.”
It’s only understandable. Alqolaq’s own life was irrevocably altered during one of Israel’s previous military offensives in the Gaza Strip. It happened at exactly 1:00 a.m. on May 16, 2021.
Without any prior warning, Israeli jets bombarded Al-Wehda Street in al-Rimal, a densely populated neighborhood in the heart of Gaza City. The fierce bombardment lasted only a few minutes, but it left behind a swath of destruction and devastation. Forty-three people were killed, including 19 children. The victims included 22 members of Alqolaq’s family, among them her mother, Amal, her sister, Hanaa, and her brothers, Taher and Ahmad.
That night, Alqolaq’s life hung in the balance. She was ensconced under the rubble of her home for 12 hours, a seemingly endless amount of time in which she struggled to breathe. During the first few hours of being trapped, she was able to communicate with a paramedic through her phone before its battery died. She then spent hours screaming for help until she lost her voice. Eventually, civil defense crews managed to dig through three floors and collapsed ceilings to rescue her.
Alqolaq has lived with the torment and trauma of that night ever since. “My life has been full of the pain of loss. The Israeli occupation killed my family. Here in Gaza, we live in constant fear of losing our relatives; that’s what’s happening now.”
Alqolaq has used art to depict her reality. “Art is my special way to document and translate the Israeli occupation’s massacres and crimes against my family and my city to the world. Following the tragic loss of my family in 2021, I held an exhibition and painted artworks, wrote texts, and published a booklet titled, ‘I am 22, I lost 22 people’, in which I documented the occupation’s crimes against my family.”
Each haunting painting represents a shattered shard of her soul, but these days, her metaphorical canvases are blank. “Since October 7, I haven’t been able to draw. I lost all my artwork, drawing tools, paints, and personal belongings. Everything I painted is now under the rubble of my home.”
Wherever possible, Alqolaq seamlessly merges her passion for art with her penchant for words, as she has an undergraduate degree in English literature. She was taught several courses by Refaat Alareer. The writer, poet, professor, and activist was killed by Israeli forces in December 2023. His poem, If I Must Die, has been translated into numerous languages. It’s read frequently at Palestine solidarity events around the world, and can often be seen on placards at demonstrations. “He supported me in remarkable and valuable ways,” she recalls wistfully. “I’ll never forget his words and support.”
Prior to the launching of Israel’s military offensive last fall, she was enrolled in an MBA program at the Islamic University of Gaza. “Three days before October 7, I had just attended a lecture and completed a presentation. Now, everything has stopped due to this genocide. Therefore, my educational journey will be longer, and I don’t know when I’ll complete it.”
Not only has her educational journey been derailed, but there’s a grim reality to contend with. “The occupation killed a number of our teaching staff, including the university president, in addition to destroying the university building.”
In the face of such brutality and a steady stream of life-altering horrors, she’s still been able to glean a sense of comfort, strength, and hope. “I found them in believing in God’s mercy.”
She confesses that without faith in God, she would’ve lost her mind. “I’ve always found that turning to the peace of the Quran is my way to overcome my fears, sorrows, and everything I cannot bear.”
Prayer has been her saving grace. “Every time death surrounded me, I would turn to prayer and recite verses from the Holy Quran. Islam, the presence of Almighty God, and the blessing of having the Quran save me in any situation and at all times, are integral to my life. Praise be to God abundantly, for He is closer to us than our jugular vein. He is near to His servants and knows what is in my soul better than I do. He knows my prayers and what I want without me even uttering them. Praise be to God for allowing us to pray at any time and in any state. Prayer is a great blessing that helped me face my darkest days.”
Asked what she’d like people around the world to know about the Palestinian cause, she says, “The Israeli occupation consists of terrorists, thieves, and killers. They stole our land, killed my family, and committed massacres against my relatives and friends.”
As Alqolaq looks toward Gaza’s future, she’s determined to see justice prevail. “My hope is to find an end to this barbaric occupation.” Even with the prospect of a regional war between Israel, its Western lackeys, and the Axis of Resistance, compounded by the chaos in Israel as the government’s intransigence continues, the economy plummets and people flee, one thing’s crystal clear. “The future is a free Palestine from the river to the sea.”
Ayah Victoria McKhail is Palestinian writer who is based in Toronto, Canada; she’s committed to capturing stories about Palestinians in the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and sharing them with people around the world
